Thirty Six

I am thirty six

And in one long short year

My world has changed

Expanded

Intensified

With more shades

Of dark and light

 

I have ascended to summits of hope

And tunnelled through caves of despair

Without giving up

 

I have skipped across meadows of ecstasy

And waded in swamps of sadness

Without being trapped

 

I have showered under waterfalls of passion

And walked on glaciers of numbness

Without losing heart

 

I have strolled on beaches of contentment

And battled with tides of disappointment

Without being drowned

 

Each frontier I cross

Expands my awareness

And deepens my understanding

 

Each horizon I chase

Widens my experience

And heightens my sensitivity

 

Each new low I plumb

Lowers my expectations

And raises my beliefs

 

Each new high I scale

Softens my defences

And hardens my resolve

 

I am tired

And yet I feel that my reserves

Are being steadily replenished

 

I am adrift

And yet I sense that the wind

Is blowing in the right direction

 

I am alone

And yet I seem to be starting

To open my heart to possibility

 

I am scarred

And yet I am a little more prepared

To contemplate trusting again

 

I no longer brush away my tears

For they help me to smile

With my eyes

 

I no longer curse the darkness

For it helps me to pay attention

To the light

 

I no longer fear the pain

For it helps me to know beauty

More intensely

 

I no longer hide from uncertainty

For it helps me to cherish moments

Of knowing clarity

 

I am thirty six

And I have emerged

From the cocoon of self-pity

Bewildered

Relieved

With wings

Still wet and crumpled

 

 

Copyright 2006

 

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